Survivor Guilt

What a relief that 2005 is coming to an end! The disaster level was high all year, and the relentless media hype surounding each event amplified the volume and the confusion. Tsunami! War! Suicide bombing! Hurricane! Flood! Earthquake! Global Warming! Bird Flu Pandemic! The only thing missing was the plague of locusts.

In Evanston, the big disasters didn't hit us, so we made do with small disasters. The murder of Linda Twyman - stabbed to death in her own home - shook the town in early December. Who did this craven act? Why haven't they been run to ground? What was their motivaton? The police are tight-lipped; the case isn't solved and the community is edgy. My wife talked to the outreach officer (a large man with battle scars on his face). He said not to worry, and was glad to hear that we have dogs that bark at every person that steps foot on our property. He is also coming by our house to do a "security check." We are all in a kind of war zone now.

But I am not complaining! No, on the contrary, I feel like I haven't suffered enough. I am trying to fend off survivor guilt. My family has been untouched, my property has not been flooded, I have faced no insurgents. My life is one long roll in the clover. Lucky me; guilty me.