Finding Lost Things

 

I am the guardian of a small, one-eyed black dog named Tai. He has been a fine companion through this horrible pandemic, usually cheerful and a very willing walking partner. We walk four times each day, including one long ramble through the neighborhood to our favorite local park. Tai has  been by my side for the past 8 years now, through the break-up of my second marriage, the move out of the marital home, and the myriad of crises that have arisen since the move. Yeah, he's just a dog and has no awareness of human foibles, but he comforted me. During this Covid-19 disaster, Tai helped me to stay somewhat sane.

The other day, Tai and I were on our morning walk. When we got back to the house, my keys weren't in my pocket. Damn! I must have dropped them while pulling the plastic bag from my coat pocket to pick up Tai's poop.  This was not a major calamity since I have spare keys, but it was annoying. I might have to change the locks.  I opened the house with my spare key, put Tai inside and started re-tracing my steps.  I had little hope of finding the keys. It was late autumn, and it was likely that the keys would be obscured by fallen leaves.

I was muttering under my breath. I had screwed up and now I was screwed. There is an alley that Tai and I often walk in the neighborhood - it's Tai's favorite place to drop a deuce.  I crept along behind the houses, eyes on the fence line.  I was on the verge of giving up when I saw something shiny in a pile of oak leaves - my keys!! 

There is no greater joy than finding something important that you were sure was lost.  The day seemed brighter and my elation lasted quite a while.

But of course, I did the same thing again a few days later. This time, I dropped the key to my backyard shed - a bigger problem because I had no spare key in my possession. I re-traced my steps to no avail. And then, yesterday morning, I was on a walk with Tai and a very good friend. I told her of my lost shed key.  She went into search mode, looked at the steps of a neighbor's house and there it was! So once again, I had that jolt of elation. This time, I was saved by my friend.

I have been married twice, divorced twice.  All my other relationships prior to and after my marriages also failed for various reasons that are  too boring and banal to describe in writing.  A few years ago, I gave up. I'm over 65 years old & retired now. I have a dog. I have hobbies. I have children & grandchildren. I have a few good friends. That's enough. I accepted that I had lost the chance to have a life partner.  I have given it the college try. I stopped looking for something I couldn't find.

Last April, I was taking Tai on his long walk through the neighborhood. I heard someone behind me call my name. I turned and saw a woman I knew from the local wine shop. Back in the years before Covid, we both went to the Friday evening wine tastings and we would chat a bit. She joined my dog & me on our walk that day and we had a pleasant conversation. 

And after a few months, I realized I had discovered another thing I had stopped looking for. This is unfolding day by day. I'm trying hard not to screw up or future trip. It's an unexpected chapter. It needs to progress without my efforts to guide or control it.

The past two years have been terrible for the United States, and the world. Covid-19 has killed millions. Trust in experts has faded. It appears that climate change is accelerating. Democracy is under attack. Violent crime is spiking.  But I feel hopeful. For me, something important that was lost has been found.